- Please bookmark www.tracydortkyne.com as we’ll be posting future updates here.
- TRACY wants VISITORS!! – Send an Email with “Visit Tracy”in the subject line to schedule a visit to see Tracy in the hospital – include a few days and times that work for you. Tracy is enjoying all her visits. Let’s keep ‘em coming! It’s great for her spirits.
- WRITE – the old fashioned way – to Tracy. She doesn’t get to read your posts. Send cards, notes and pictures to ATTN: Tracy Kyne c/o Lynn Pang, 121 RANLEIGH AVE, TORONTO ON M4N 1X2
- GIVE –You can donate online with PayPal or visit any CIBC branch and tell them you’d like to make a donation in Trust for Tracy Dort Kyne to this account: #00002 / 60-47599.
- FUNDRAISING RIDE for TRACY – Sunday October 16th – 9:00am- Meet at Fisher Field in Collingwood – For more info: Alan Lo firstname.lastname@example.org
- FUNDRAISING BREATHE & MOVE for TRACY – Sunday October 23rd – 10:00 am (90 mins) Moksha Yoga Uptown To register email: Holly email@example.com
SOooo MUCH GRATITUDE – THANK YOU to everyone at TRACK Fitness and all the amazing “spinners” for raising almost $10,000 for Tracy on Thursday night!!! Truly remarkable!
5 STAGES – I want to explain why I haven’t written for a while, and my incredible husband Robert has been keeping you updated with his posts. The truth is that I was angry. I know – How selfish of me, right? But, one of my good friends reminded me the other day that Tracy and our whole family will experience the “Five Stages of Grief” – and likely not at all at the same time. According Kubler Ross these 5 stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Indeed my friend was right. We are all grieving the loss of the life Tracy had, and the life we had. The active mother, daughter, friend, sister, workout fanatic that she used to be! Why was I angry?
ANGRY – I was angry because I didn’t understand why she had to train for such a big race on a road that is a mountain. I was angry because our family is exhausted. I was angry because I didn’t feel she was appreciative. I was angry because I felt that she put her fitness first. I was angry because she left us sorting out and organizing many of her affairs. I was angry because hers was not a simple straightforward life. I was angry because the boys have already been through so much and don’t deserve any more traumas. I was angry because (…and this part I’m embarrassed to admit…) my life is not my own anymore, and never will be – and every minute of every day we are all thinking about Tracy’s care, Tracy’s kids, Tracy’s needs and Tracy’s future.
MOM – And then my Mom hit the wall and was sick late last week, and my selfish anger started to fade away as I realized how very lucky I am, and how much more I needed to step up. In a quiet moment – I reflected about it – not from my selfish angry sister perspective – but from a Mom’s perspective. What would it be like for me if it was my Abby lying in that hospital bed with no way to scratch her nose? No way to brush her own teeth? No way to brush her hair? No way to ever hug again? No way to write her own name? No way to lift a cup of water? ….no way … no way …NO WAY…. !!!! I couldn’t even think about it!!
So, I took over the early morning shift that Mom’s been doing all along, and spent Saturday morning with Tracy for her wake up routine. She was cranky and in pain, but she guided myself and the nurse through her morning rituals – brush her hair, move her up, move her over, adjust her pillow (but please take off your gloves! – the silicone gloves catch and pull her hair, and not all the nurses are obliging of this request if you can believe it!!?), wash her face, give her meds, brush her teeth, give her water (one that’s cold to swish, one that’s room temp to drink because it hurts too much to swallow when it’s icy cold), move her feet over etc etc.. We worked together and as I did all this, my anger was washed away by compassion.
TIME TO EAT – On this Thanksgiving Sunday ….just imagine not having eaten or chewed food in over a month!? Tracy’s first full official day with a “regular menu” was yesterday – so, as one would expect on Saturday morning she didn’t have much of an appetite and we had to take the tray away. But later that day she had a bit of soup for lunch, and then for dinner a little of Lynn’s homemade lemon chicken. Yay! Except today is not a good day and she’s not terribly interested in eating today. Let’s hope tomorrow is a better day!
As you share prayers of gratitude this Thanksgiving weekend, please do give praise for the food, but also remember to give praise for the smaller things – the things we all take for granted – the ability to – raise a fork to your mouth, wipe your lips with a napkin, bring yourself to the table, set the table, lick your fingers with pie on them, hold hands in prayer, pick up the dishes to clear the table ….
Every day we learn a new lesson. It’s what we do with it that changes us!
Much love and a huge amount of appreciation!