Journey

The Next Chapter Begins

It’s been 9 months…

HOMECOMING: Tracy moved out of Lyndhurst Hospital yesterday and back into her house on Ranleigh Avenue to be with her boys. She decided this was the best move for her at this time. Modifications were done to the basement to make it an accessible living space and she now has her own team of personal caregivers.

Tracy Dort-Kyne and her 3 boys

So here’s the scoop….I have not written a blog post over the past few months because my relationship with Tracy (and my Mom) has been very strained. As you can imagine Tracy’s accident turned all of our lives upside down and we all naturally took on the roles best suited to us.

In the beginning we rallied for her without hesitation. It was instinctive. We did what we needed to do to help her survive and made decisions that we all felt would help Tracy have the best quality of care and quality of life possible – all things considered.

We all seem to refer to these past nine months as a “journey” that we are going through. As with many journeys there are, have been and will continue to be bumps in the road, delays, frustration, fatigue, intersections with more than one path – choices!

These are just some of the challenges one encounters on a journey. Combine this with strong personalities, priorities, personal values, temperament and family history and you have a recipe for major turmoil. The “rallying” our family did in the beginning becomes the tearing apart of the family. The crisis that triggered the journey exposes the best and the worst of whom we are as humans – our reluctance to want to forgive, our inability to want to acknowledge our deepest flaws…and so on….

And so the “journey” continues…

I hope for much healing and forgiveness for us all as we move forward.

Les

p.s. While Tracy is now back home, she’s still eager to have visitors. She’s continuing to use Lotsahelpinghands to manage the schedule. You can sign up here to visit Tracy at home!

  • Andrea

    Thank you so much Lesley for your update. I can’t imagine the turmoil you’re family has endured, while other families go through ups and downs with all healthy abled bodies, your issues are magnified a thousand times more. It must be extremely difficult to go along your lives normally knowing Tracy’s will never be the same. But you must go forward Lesley, you cannot stop living your life. The way I have grown to know Tracy, she would be extremely upset if she knew her family is not living their life the way you should be. As the saying goes, Life goes on. As unfortunate as it is to have to try and live your life normally, you must, to survive.

    I have followed Tracy’s journey from the beginning and look forward to all your updates.

    Andrea B

  • http://tracytodd.wordpress.com/ Tracy Todd

    Les – your family is not alone in its emotional turmoil after a traumatic spinal cord injury. Quadriplegia is extreme. It can take up to four years for an injured person to come to terms with their injury. It is harsh! There is definitely a ripple effect – forcing family, friends and the immediate community into a whole new way of life. The situation pushes the boundaries of normal family interactions beyond those that are normally acceptable, straining relationships, often beyond repair. Emotions do run high and are more intense around family. I know. I can relate.
    Despite all of that, Tracy is lucky to have you. You are lucky to have each other. I have no doubt that she would join me in a prayer to thank God for Earth Angels like you, the rest of her family and friends to help make our lives bearable.
    Be brave. Stay strong. God bless you.

  • Dave McMullen

    Les,

    I don’t know you or Tracy but I have followed your family’s story from shortly after the accident. My sister experienced a sudden and traumatic change in life about a dozen years ago. Although her situation did not have the long term consequences that Tracy is faced with, the episode was very much touch and go for about a year. I recall the differences of opinion, frustration, etc. It truly is a difficult thing to deal with.

    I didn’t comment for the purposes of saying I can fully appreciate what you, Tracy and your family are experiencing. Each situation is unique based on so many different factors as you have mentioned above. But I wanted to say that your openness, honesty and ability to see the situation for what it is will also help you to find that healing and forgiveness. The truth is that everyone wants what it is best for Tracy and love her dearly. But that can be expressed in so many different ways. In the end, it all comes from that place of love.

    I am sure that there are many difficult days for Tracy and for those who care for her. But I can honestly say that from what I have read about the journey, Tracy is an inspiration for me. I live in Calgary but would love the chance to meet her some day and tell her this myself. In addition, I am awed by all that you and your family have done to support Tracy. You deserve an enormous amount of credit and acknowledgement for your efforts. I do hope that forgiveness and healing come soon to all of you.

  • Kimberley Evans

    Leslie,
    You are a remarkable person yourself. I don’t know you personally and barely know Tracy, but your honesty and frankness when you blog are so refreshing and real I have such heartfelt sympathy for all of you because of it. My family also went through a personal tragedy back in 1995 when my mother was in an auto accident when I was 27. My mom survived after many weeks in the hospital and outpatient therapy but she was never the same….needed 24 hour care but the auguing and family drama (everything you mentioned) happened to our family, too. I just wanted you to know that my heart and prayers go out to you and your family cause I can relate. It is hard. I know. And this will forever change you and Tracy and your other family, because this trauma in my family lives with me forever. I miss the “old mom” I use to have and was so very close to. Just like me, you will get to know the new “normal” for you and your family and you will probably get closer to people that have experienced trauma and deep pain in their lives and they will comfort you and give you strength to keep surviving through life by sharing their stories. I love your blogs. Please don’t stop. My prayers are with you, Tracy and your family. God bless.

    • Lesley Dort

      Hey Kimberley – Your reply means A LOT to me!! I agree. It is difficult for people who have not experience this level of trauma in their lives to relate, empathize or understand. thank you for reaching out!!

      Les

  • Kathy

    Tracy I’m so excited to hear you are coming home! I will visit once you get settled. Good luck with everything!