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gratitude

March Update

The Updates

I am long overdue in writing a blog post. It is close to 7 months since that fateful day. It has been an unbelievably difficult journey ……too difficult to write about at times. So here’s the Tracy scoop:

  • Tracy is still at Toronto Rehab’s Lyndhurst hospital.
  • She is learning to use her motorized wheelchair using a sip and puff controller – not without its challenges but she is very determined.
  • Tracy sold her house and purchased a modest bungalow near Lawrence and Don Mills that she is planning to renovate and make accessible. The move out will happen at the end of the school year.
  • Tracy has had on/off medical issues – and she continues to experience quite a bit of pain.
  • Tracy has been out of Lyndhurst several times, and is learning how UN-accessible the world really is.

The boys: Lynn hired two excellent caregivers for the boys – Leslie who is full-time during the week and Beverly for the weekends. She finally packed up her little Prius and drove to Chicago last week so that she could fly to Phoenix for some serious R & R before heading back to St. Louis to resume her life.

Lynn sacrificed so much for our family! She left her life in St. Louis for almost 7 months to care for Christian, Malcolm and Thomas. They did so well under her watch and they’ll really miss her. Thank you big sister!!! xo

“Layers” & Lessons

What I know is that Tracy learning to live as a quadriplegic is only a small part of the challenges we have faced and continue to face. The dynamics of our family are forever changed and changing. There are multiple “layers” to this conversation and within each of them – they too are multifaceted. My nephews without their mother; our mother not living in her home and away from her husband; Lynn who gave up close to seven months of her life to live away from her family and take care of someone else’s kids; my Dad at their home in Ottawa alone and trying to run a business; me – the only one who actually lives in Toronto juggling full-time job, teenage daughter, husband, home; finances/fund/fundraising; and the ongoing worry of all things Tracy; etc…

Selfishly I feel I have lost my mother as I knew her, my father as I knew him and my daughter has lost the grandparents she once knew. They are forever consumed – changed, ripped and torn apart at the pain & suffering of their baby. I don’t ever want to imagine what it feels like, as I only have my sweet Abigail, but I am one of the able-bodied daughters and the sister, so my perspective is different.

Emotions run high, and there is strife. People don’t talk to each other. There are arguments and disagreements. There are short tempers and tears. Feelings are hurt. Words are used like daggers that can’t be taken back. Healing and forgiveness seem so distant. Guilt sets in …

….but I can move.

Gratitude

It continues to amaze us all at the overwhelming generosity of people! People, who most often do not even know Tracy, yet go out of their way to help her. Some of those people include:

  • Sandra Dower – for doing Tracy’s hair on a regular basis!!
  • Michael Carmichael and Universal Motion for lending Tracy an accessible van – on several occasions.
  • Peter Grande for for lending Tracy an MV-1 purpose built accessible van – several times and especially for the drive to Collingwood.
  • Crestwood Upper and Lower School for Christian and Thomas’s bursaries.
  • Christina Kaufman and Gears Toronto for the Spin that Tracy was able to attend on Thursday January 26th.
  • Cindy Drohan, Gail McGregor and Macpherson Homes for the Silpada Jewelry Fundraiser at the Orchard at Craigleith on Saturday February 4
  • Beverley Daniels for her February photo shoot fundraiser
  • Marsha Hamilton, Marlene and Jeff Stubbins and the entire school community at St. Clements Early Learning School for their February fundraiser
  • Mona Harrison, Leigh-Anne Copp, Tammy Comish, Ashlynn Band and the Craigleith Ski Club for Craigleith Ladies Day on March 2 – Tracy was able to be a guest of honour.
  • Bedford Park Moms for their Suppersolved Meal
  • Brianne Stewart and Bryn Copp for their “Caring Motivating Tracy” t-shirt fund raiser.
  • Wesley Kwong from Barefoot Wine for donating wine and bubbly for our fund raisers.
  • Milton Davis and his team at Davis Moldaver LLP for their advice and counsel.
  • Robert’s colleagues at 6S Marketing for the work they are doing on a much improved web site.
If I missed anyone…I’m sorry. We’re all so very grateful. xoxo Lesley

Upcoming fundraisers:

1. Saturday March 31 from 2pm to 4pm – Arbonne tea at Tracy’s house RSVP jo-annmcb@rogers.com

2. April 2 at 6pm – Plank a Thon RSVP online or ross2170@sympatico.ca

3. April 14 from 4 to 6pm – Spin for Tracy at Max Revolution RSVP gagsanna@gmail.com

4. June 24 at 11 30 am – Golf for Tracy RSVP golffortracy@gmail.com

5. Team Tracy at the Centurion – contact debbie.gray@sympatico.ca

 

 

 

Resolutions, Nanny Search, New Board and Little Angels in Markham

As I watch the programs on TV and listen to people talk about their New Year’s resolutions, I wonder about them. Isn’t a resolution really more like a wish? We wish to be skinnier. We wish to get in better shape. We wish to be a nicer person. We wish to be tidier and if we’re lucky,  we change our behaviour to actually make the “resolutions” come true.

My resolution and my wish is for continued courage, hope, resilience, tenacity, determination and drive for my sister. My resolution is to never take anything for granted and to always be grateful – for everything!

Some of you have asked about the number of visits we’ve had to Tracy’s website. We launched the site in early October and as of December 31, 2011, we’ve had over 160,000 visits. Robert says that pretty good.

NANNY SEARCH

We’re  searching for a Nanny/Caregiver for Tracy’s boys to move in and work alongside Lynn and/or Mom. This person will ultimately live with Tracy and the boys when Lynn returns to St. Louis and Mom heads back to Ottawa.

Requirements for this full time live-in Caregiver/Nanny/Housekeeper:  drivers license (car will be provided), duties will include – managing all aspects of care for the boys: meals, homework, school, appointments, laundry, activities, social outtings, clothes, driving to/from school or activities, etc.  Must be a self starter with lots of energy, patience and compassion. Must clear a police background check. If you know of anyone please have them send me an email at Lesley [dot] Dort [at] rogers.com

TRACY’S TRUST FUND :: BOARD OF DIRECTORS

We’ve decided to assemble an informal board of directors to provide some oversight of Tracy’s Trust Fund and the money you’ve  generously helped us raise. While the Fund is still relatively small, we think it’s important to have a team of pros helping us manage disbursements. We’ll be assembling the board in the coming weeks and I’ll share more about this soon.

SPECIAL THANK YOU TO MRS. TORSHER’S GRADE 3 CLASS

In late November, Robert received an email from Maureen Torsher, a Grade 3 teacher at St. Justin Martyr School in Markham Ontario. Maureen had seen Tracy on CBC News and was touched by her story.

“Yesterday my Grade 3 class was on a field trip, and Tommy, one of my students, said, ‘My mom said teachers get too much chocolate.’ And he’s right. So today I talked to my class, told them about Tracy’s accident, and have asked them to make donations instead of buying me any teacher Christmas gifts. I will send them to your website to make donations if that is ok. Keep well, prayers for all of you.”

As my Mom likes to say, “we are surrounded by Angels!”

Mrs. Torsher's Grade 3 Class fund raising for Tracy Dort-Kyne