Tag Archives: Tracy Dort-Kyne

Remembering Tracy

Tracy Dort-KyneIn Loving Memory of Tracy Ann Dort-Kyne

Jan 14, 1970 – Nov 27, 2013

Tracy Dort-Kyne

Thank You Team Tracy 2012

I would like to start the very first blog that I have written on my website by saying Hello and THANK YOU to everyone who has followed my story, creating and participating in my fund-raisers, handling all of my emails, visiting me at the hospital, making dinners for my family, driving my kids to school, creating my website, raising money for and donating to Tracy’s Trust, taking care of my children, providing emotional support and respite to my family members and the lists of Thank You’s goes on!

I  have survived because of all of you. Surviving is hard work. It takes an enormous amount of resources to get me where I am today and everyday! Its busy, its painful, its hard and it can be overwhelmingly stressful. But because of you, (my family, my friends, my supporters et al) I am able to face each day with a positive attitude and something to look forward to.

One of the things I was looking forward to was the Collingwood Centurion 2012, because I had a team, “Team Tracy” that was going to cycle the 50 mile ride in my honor!  This team, “Team Tracy” , was founded to complete the race that I was training for when my accident happened. So…on September 16, 2012 Team Tracy rode in the Centurion 50M ride and on the anniversary of my accident, brought my life full circle and gave me the amazing opportunity to still take part in a sport that I love so much.

Here is the letter that I wrote to Team Tracy to thank them for riding for me:

 

[box] Dear Team Tracy,

Team Tracy Tracy Dort-KyneI want to THANK all of your for riding for me in the Centurion 2012, 50M ride this past Sunday!

It was a beautiful day and the temperature was on our side.

I have to Thank You for completing my dream. And helping me move forward in my new reality. A year ago today I was in critical care at Sunnybrook hospital unable to speak, unable to move, barely able to communicate. I was only able to communicate by blinking my eyes when someone asked me a question. Blink once for yes and twice for no. At that point I knew I was going to live but I had no idea of the challenges that would be ahead. I live my life One Day At A Time. A lesson I learned from my father and mother. The best advice I have ever been given. I have also learned from my parents that it is important to think positive, to set goals and to look forward as you live one day at a time.

So that’s what I did. Every day I woke up hoping it was just a dream but quickly realizing it was not and I had a choice. I could face the day as a pessimist or an optimist. And every day I chose to be happy and to be grateful. Most of the time it was really easy to be happy because I would wake up to the smiling, but concerned face of either my sister Lynn, my sister Lesley, my Mom or Dad or Robert or Darren.

In those early days this was so meaningful to me. The love I felt from my family kept me going. Their drive, their determination, their love was the fuel for my engine. And knowing that I had three beautiful, wonderful and scared boys at home gave me courage to be brave and always try to have a smile on my face. It wasn’t often that they saw anything but a smile on my face. I was in my family’s embrace and everything was going to be O.K. It had to be for Christian, Malcolm, and Thomas depended on me. My goal was to get better as quickly as possible and every day I fought against all odds to get out of that hospital. I left Sunnybrook in record time for someone with an injury as high up as mine.

Suffice it to say I am a fighter and there aren’t any challenges I am afraid to face. This weekend in Collingwood was very bittersweet for me. Thank you all for your smiles and your hugs and your compliments and your words of encouragement! I would have given anything to be riding with you on Sunday. Honestly I was secretly just a bit jealous of each one of you. This was the race I had trained for when my accident happened. The first year that the Centurion came to Collingwood I entered the 25 mile race. That year, Centurion 2010, I placed 3rd in my age category in the 25 mile and immediately after winning that bronze medal I set a goal to race in the 50 mile next year, Centurion 2011, and try to place top three. I was very excited that the Centurion had come to Collingwood because Collingwood was my second home and it meant that I would be able to race every year. I was very much looking forward to Centurion 2011. However, that was the year I suffered my devastating accident training for the Centurion 2011, 50M race.

So that’s why this year, Centurion 2012, was so important to me. And I am so grateful that you joined Team Tracy and rode in my honor! I had not been back to the village since before my accident. It was exhilarating and exiting to see everyone in their cycling gear with their beautiful bikes their shaved legs and all the toned hard bodies!

I’m proud of all of Team Tracy for completing the race in my honor. It was a privilege for me to be there at the end to congratulate you on completing your own goal! Some of you were daring enough to ride for me without any training at all! I was really impressed with your chutzpah and your courage. And some of you raced for your personal best. All of you making me feel like a superstar! I want to Thank You all for putting smiles on my face. For giving me something to look forward to. And for donating to Tracy’s Trust.

This fundraiser will go far helping me to pay for the overwhelming costs associated with my care. Our inaugural Team Tracy, Centurion 2012 ride was an outstanding success! One which we can build on for years to come! We already have our co-chairs established for next year! Tammy Cavers and Kate Veer have stepped up and offered to co-chair the event next year. It is our hope that we will have lots of new members to Team Tracy and that all of you will come back and ride with Team Tracy again next year in the Centurion 2013!

Yours Truly,

Tracy Dort-Kyne[/box]

Journey

The Next Chapter Begins

It’s been 9 months…

HOMECOMING: Tracy moved out of Lyndhurst Hospital yesterday and back into her house on Ranleigh Avenue to be with her boys. She decided this was the best move for her at this time. Modifications were done to the basement to make it an accessible living space and she now has her own team of personal caregivers.

Tracy Dort-Kyne and her 3 boys

So here’s the scoop….I have not written a blog post over the past few months because my relationship with Tracy (and my Mom) has been very strained. As you can imagine Tracy’s accident turned all of our lives upside down and we all naturally took on the roles best suited to us.

In the beginning we rallied for her without hesitation. It was instinctive. We did what we needed to do to help her survive and made decisions that we all felt would help Tracy have the best quality of care and quality of life possible – all things considered.

We all seem to refer to these past nine months as a “journey” that we are going through. As with many journeys there are, have been and will continue to be bumps in the road, delays, frustration, fatigue, intersections with more than one path – choices!

These are just some of the challenges one encounters on a journey. Combine this with strong personalities, priorities, personal values, temperament and family history and you have a recipe for major turmoil. The “rallying” our family did in the beginning becomes the tearing apart of the family. The crisis that triggered the journey exposes the best and the worst of whom we are as humans – our reluctance to want to forgive, our inability to want to acknowledge our deepest flaws…and so on….

And so the “journey” continues…

I hope for much healing and forgiveness for us all as we move forward.

Les

p.s. While Tracy is now back home, she’s still eager to have visitors. She’s continuing to use Lotsahelpinghands to manage the schedule. You can sign up here to visit Tracy at home!

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My Aunt

My daughter Abigail has been hard at work on a speech she’ll be giving tomorrow in her Grade 9 English class. After rehearsing it tonight in front of Lesley, Grandma Joan and I, she graciously agreed to share it will all of you…

Robert

—————————–

Life is precious, and that is not something that I really understood, until I was forced to.

Comprehending that life is precious and every second that we are here is a gift, is not something that a teenager often stops to think about. In a world where we focus so much of our attention on the negative it is often hard to see the good and the beauty of our world. We don’t often think, “Isn’t it amazing that I can walk, I can see and I can hear, we take for granted the things that we have.”

I’m not saying that I walk around being constantly amazed by my life, and I’m not saying it’s easy to be optimistic all the time, but we can choose to focus on the good things in our lives, instead of constantly focusing on the bad. I get it, it’s hard being a teenager, heck, it even, for lack of a better word “sucks” sometimes. But I hope that after you hear the story I am about to tell you that you’ll live your life with a little more optimism.

The wind rushes past, the trees are a blur and before you know it you’re speeding down a hill. Biking. Your body is used to this kind of exercise, but you’re still out of breath. Then just as you turn the corner you feel yourself flying through the air. You crash to the ground, yet there is no pain, no feeling at all. This is what happened to my aunt on the day that changed her life forever.

She was found in a ditch off the side of the road in critical condition. Then my Aunt Tracy was airlifted to a hospital in Toronto from Collingwood. My Mom received a phone call about the accident around 5:00pm on September 4, 2011.

“Quadriplegia, paralysis of four limbs” This is the prognosis, that has been given to Tracy.

This means my aunt will never open another door, brush her own teeth, or even hug her children, without the help of someone else. She will never write a letter, go for a walk or shake someone’s hand. It is hard to imagine not being able to move, it is something I often think about, and it is not an easy topic. This condition is life altering. And after seven months we now know just how hard it really is.

Never again will our lives be the same.

Although this heavy weight is on my Aunt’s shoulders. She chooses not to dwell on this fact. She is pushing forward, she makes sure she is their to attend as many fundraisers she can and thank people for their support. I wish I could summon the same strength she has within. She inspires me to keep going, to look at life with passion and to find the beauty in every small moment.

Although, when I first heard the prognosis, I can remember being speechless like the wind had been knocked out of me.

What could I say? What could I do? I was sad but I was also angry and resentful, angry at the people around me, angry at god, angry at myself.

Why? I wanted to know why this had happened to my family! Why did this have to happen the week I was supposed to start high school?  What lesson was this supposed to teach me? I was also angry at myself for being selfish, I wanted and needed my parents but yet I knew my aunt needed them more

My Aunt is 41 years old. She has three boys, Christian 13, Malcolm 12 and Thomas 7.  The fact that my Aunt has been raising these three boys with no husband for the past six years astonishes me. My Aunt’s life was not easy, she experienced a very painful divorce from her husband and still she’s managed put her life back together and built a beautiful house in Bedford Park.

My Mom often comes home from the hospital and recounts the tales of the day. There are hard days and there are times my Aunt does not feel so strong, but what I think makes her so inspiring is that she wakes up the next day with a smile on her face and ready to fight. She doesn’t let her condition paralyze her mind or her soul. She has faith. She knows that this is major setback, a big bump in the road, perhaps a mountain, but she wants to make it!

Although we have had many struggles and trying times, it has brought us closer as a family, and taught me many things. The first of which is that we must be grateful for everything we have and seize every opportunity we can in life. It has also strengthened my faith, I believe that there is reason this has happened to us! The relationship between my mother and her sisters had strengthened and that is not to say that there isn’t sadness and anger but every day my family learns to over come it.

My Aunt is my hero. When I think of her situation, I am saddened, and I often find it hard to explain. Yet when I think of how she is dealing with it I want to be strong for her, to push on and be the best person I can be. If she can put a smile on her face, I can make it through High School. If she can have optimism and look forward to her life, then I can too.

I’ve learned a lot about who I am after this accident. Seven month’s later and our family is still learning new things and new skills to coup with this tragedy. I have come to realize that family is one of the most important things in your life and that good friends make all the difference. I have become more understanding, less judgmental and although I always knew it I’ve realized there is much more to life than my own small world.

This accident may have changed who I am but it will be for the better, and I know that with my Aunt’s spirit and my brave family we can get through this.

So the next time you get up in the morning and you want to complain about how early it is or the test you have the next day, think about how lucky you are to even be able to get out of bed.

Abby Lendvai

Please leave Abigail a comment and let her know what you thought of her speech.

gratitude

March Update

The Updates

I am long overdue in writing a blog post. It is close to 7 months since that fateful day. It has been an unbelievably difficult journey ……too difficult to write about at times. So here’s the Tracy scoop:

  • Tracy is still at Toronto Rehab’s Lyndhurst hospital.
  • She is learning to use her motorized wheelchair using a sip and puff controller – not without its challenges but she is very determined.
  • Tracy sold her house and purchased a modest bungalow near Lawrence and Don Mills that she is planning to renovate and make accessible. The move out will happen at the end of the school year.
  • Tracy has had on/off medical issues – and she continues to experience quite a bit of pain.
  • Tracy has been out of Lyndhurst several times, and is learning how UN-accessible the world really is.

The boys: Lynn hired two excellent caregivers for the boys – Leslie who is full-time during the week and Beverly for the weekends. She finally packed up her little Prius and drove to Chicago last week so that she could fly to Phoenix for some serious R & R before heading back to St. Louis to resume her life.

Lynn sacrificed so much for our family! She left her life in St. Louis for almost 7 months to care for Christian, Malcolm and Thomas. They did so well under her watch and they’ll really miss her. Thank you big sister!!! xo

“Layers” & Lessons

What I know is that Tracy learning to live as a quadriplegic is only a small part of the challenges we have faced and continue to face. The dynamics of our family are forever changed and changing. There are multiple “layers” to this conversation and within each of them – they too are multifaceted. My nephews without their mother; our mother not living in her home and away from her husband; Lynn who gave up close to seven months of her life to live away from her family and take care of someone else’s kids; my Dad at their home in Ottawa alone and trying to run a business; me – the only one who actually lives in Toronto juggling full-time job, teenage daughter, husband, home; finances/fund/fundraising; and the ongoing worry of all things Tracy; etc…

Selfishly I feel I have lost my mother as I knew her, my father as I knew him and my daughter has lost the grandparents she once knew. They are forever consumed – changed, ripped and torn apart at the pain & suffering of their baby. I don’t ever want to imagine what it feels like, as I only have my sweet Abigail, but I am one of the able-bodied daughters and the sister, so my perspective is different.

Emotions run high, and there is strife. People don’t talk to each other. There are arguments and disagreements. There are short tempers and tears. Feelings are hurt. Words are used like daggers that can’t be taken back. Healing and forgiveness seem so distant. Guilt sets in …

….but I can move.

Gratitude

It continues to amaze us all at the overwhelming generosity of people! People, who most often do not even know Tracy, yet go out of their way to help her. Some of those people include:

  • Sandra Dower – for doing Tracy’s hair on a regular basis!!
  • Michael Carmichael and Universal Motion for lending Tracy an accessible van – on several occasions.
  • Peter Grande for for lending Tracy an MV-1 purpose built accessible van – several times and especially for the drive to Collingwood.
  • Crestwood Upper and Lower School for Christian and Thomas’s bursaries.
  • Christina Kaufman and Gears Toronto for the Spin that Tracy was able to attend on Thursday January 26th.
  • Cindy Drohan, Gail McGregor and Macpherson Homes for the Silpada Jewelry Fundraiser at the Orchard at Craigleith on Saturday February 4
  • Beverley Daniels for her February photo shoot fundraiser
  • Marsha Hamilton, Marlene and Jeff Stubbins and the entire school community at St. Clements Early Learning School for their February fundraiser
  • Mona Harrison, Leigh-Anne Copp, Tammy Comish, Ashlynn Band and the Craigleith Ski Club for Craigleith Ladies Day on March 2 – Tracy was able to be a guest of honour.
  • Bedford Park Moms for their Suppersolved Meal
  • Brianne Stewart and Bryn Copp for their “Caring Motivating Tracy” t-shirt fund raiser.
  • Wesley Kwong from Barefoot Wine for donating wine and bubbly for our fund raisers.
  • Milton Davis and his team at Davis Moldaver LLP for their advice and counsel.
  • Robert’s colleagues at 6S Marketing for the work they are doing on a much improved web site.
If I missed anyone…I’m sorry. We’re all so very grateful. xoxo Lesley

Upcoming fundraisers:

1. Saturday March 31 from 2pm to 4pm – Arbonne tea at Tracy’s house RSVP jo-annmcb@rogers.com

2. April 2 at 6pm – Plank a Thon RSVP online or ross2170@sympatico.ca

3. April 14 from 4 to 6pm – Spin for Tracy at Max Revolution RSVP gagsanna@gmail.com

4. June 24 at 11 30 am – Golf for Tracy RSVP golffortracy@gmail.com

5. Team Tracy at the Centurion – contact debbie.gray@sympatico.ca

 

 

 

Team Tracy Cycling Group

Join The Team Tracy Cycling Group

A cycling group called ‘Team Tracy’ is being created to participate in The Centurion 50 mile ride in Collingwood on September 16, 2012. It is wide open for anyone to join…and all levels of riders are welcome. Tracy’s friends Debbie Gray and Jeff Chalmers have graciously offered to help put the wheels in motion.

Tracy loved to ride and it was during her training for The Centurion that she had her accident. It is Tracy’s wish for people to come together to ride in this event to share the experience she had worked so hard to prepare for. To help you get ready, we will be organizing regular mid-week training/recreational rides, affiliating Team Tracy with a local bike shop for support and service, and raising funds for Tracy’s Trust through the design and sale of an amazing Team Tracy Cycling jersey.

To make The Team Tracy Cycling Group a reality we are looking for a few volunteers to fill these positions:

  1. Corporate donation liaison
  2. Bike shop liaison for coordinating group rides, etc.
  3. Communications person for a Team Tracy Cycling Group website/blog

If you are interested in helping with any of these roles, or if you are interested in joining Team Tracy, please contact Debbie Gray (debbie.gray@sympatico.ca) or Jeff Chalmers (jeff.chalmers@noranco.com)

Here’s a little taste of The Centurion experience from last year. We hope you’ll ride with us!

Please share this post on Facebook and Twitter.

Team Tracy Cycling Group

Never Give Up!

I spent last week in Miami at my company’s annual customer conference and sales kick-off. While I had hoped it would be something of a respite from the challenges of the past five months, Tracy was never really far from my thoughts — especially after listening to the inspirational words of Nando Parrado our keynote speaker.

I’m sure most of you are familiar with the story. In October 1972 a rugby team from Uruguay was flying to Chile for an international match. Their plane crashed high in the Andes Mountains and the survivors endured 72 unmanageable days of hardship, starvation, frostbite and even an avalanche.

Nando told us about how those two and a half months changed his life completely. His mother and younger sister passed away in the accident, and Nando made a superhuman effort to survive including a hellish 11 day mountain trek across the Andes to find help for the other survivors.

Nando told his amazing story in a best-selling book called “Miracle in The Andes” which was recently made into motion picture called “I AM ALIVE.” His story really resonated with me. It’s a message about perseverance, choices and never looking back. He told us to “never ask why,” because there are no answers, and it’s not helpful. Our family continues to try and be strong for Tracy, but there are days when our “humanness” overcomes and our emotions take over – anger, sadness, despair and more recently exhaustion.

Nando signed books after his talk and I was eager to get a copy for Tracy. We were asked to write the name of the person we wanted the book inscribed to on a little yellow post it note. I wrote Tracy’s name and when I reached Nando he smiled, looked up at me and asked “who is Tracy?” He could clearly see my conference name badge – Lesley Dort. I was overcome with emotion in that instant and sobbed as I retold Tracy’s story. He leaned over and very gently held my hand. We talked about Tracy and her will to live. It felt to me like we were the only two people in that room, even though there was a huge long line of people waiting behind me.

His inscription to Tracy was “Never Give Up.”

Nando’s story is inspirational and the message of resilience and a positive attitude gives me hope. If he could survive two and a half months in the Andes and live to tell his story, we can help Tracy to transition to her new life as a quadriplegic.

My husband and I continue to believe that she has a calling. Her story, just like Nando’s, will inspire others to be better and do better in their own lives.